Wednesday, January 13, 2010

The choices we make

Oh, how easy it is to look for the bad in people and deeds. Why do we accept the bad without looking for the good?

We have soul mates and lovers and crushes and colleagues and acquaintances and parents/siblings. No two relationships are the same. Sometimes relationships might cross more than one type; sometimes they evolve from one to the other. But we all like different people different amounts for different reasons and in different ways. There's nothing wrong with that. That's how it should be because that's how it is.

Let's take dating for an example. Have you ever dated someone that liked you more than you liked them? Yes. Have you ever dated someone that you liked more than they liked you? Of course you have.

Have you ever dated someone that liked you more and you didn't *dislike* them but they just weren't your kind of people? Not for any bad reason in particular but just because it didn't feel right or you didn't click? It's natural - it's life!

So, why, when someone unfollows you on Twitter, do you take it so personally? Yes, you can look at it as an insult. You can be offended. You can assume that someone is trying to hurt you. But, nine times out of ten, it's none of those things. Perhaps they didn't realize you cared. Maybe you liked them a little more than they liked you. There is nothing wrong with that.

You *must* like some of your Twitter friends more than others. You HAVE to. You can't possibly follow 600 people and like each and every one of them equally. Heck, you probably don't even like me very much right now.

And I am perfectly okay with that. Because I don't take it personally if you have different opinions than I have. I don't think I'm better than you and I don't think I'm worse than you. I'm simply different than you. And different doesn't have to mean wrong.

Quite frankly, and I'm sure this will offend you, it doesn't really matter what you think of me. I don't know you and you don't know me. We know nothing of each other than a few daily tweets-worth. I don't know how or where you grew up or how you feel about the death penalty or love or the colour of the sky. You are in my daily twitter stream with hundreds of people, as I am in yours. I'd really like for us to be friends but if we're not, I'll be friends with someone else. And I will be happy either way.

Because I choose to be happy.

Let me tell you a little something about me to illustrate my point further: I found out less than an hour ago that my father's cancer treatment is not working. They have stopped it because it is harming him more than healing him. They gave him 18 months to live 13 months ago. He has been in hospital twice since. It is very possible that my father will die very soon.

But I also found out that there is a new drug that they might be able to give him that could possibly work, except they have to do a very risky procedure on him first. This new drug could help him live for 5 years, 10 years - no one knows.

So, how would you advise me to react? I can sit here and cry because one drug isn't working or because he might die during that risky procedure.

Or I can sit here with hope in my heart that this new drug will prolong his life and my father might get to see his my sister get married in June and meet his grandchildren who have yet to be born. And they might get to know him!

I have believed that my father, whom I love dearly, will be dead in *months* for over a year but now there is a possibility that he won't be. How exciting is that????

So, I'm going to look for the good because that's the only choice to me.

I honestly mean no offence to you, and I take no offence. If you unfollow me because you don't like my perspective on Twitter followers and unfollowers, I wish you well and hope that you find people that you do like. Because that's what I will do.

Happiness. Is. A. Choice.

Don't doubt it for a second.

1 comment:

Magnus said...

Sorry the hear about your father. That must be hard for you. Of course that new drug is the way to go, even if it means a risky procedure.

I believe you're right too. About happiness. To quote Monty Python "Always look on bright side of life". Even if it's hard sometimes.
And, yea, I think you rock on Twitter, but you know that ;)
Keep it up.

/@MaDom