25 Things (from Tumblr)

1. My very first thought when I considered doing 25 things was that I don’t have 25 interesting things to say. Let’s see…
2. I drink more water than anyone I have ever known. Totally unrelated: I pee more than anyone I have ever known.
3. I keep my fingernails cut down to the quick at all times.
4. I have never farted in front of a man. (Except probably when I was a kid.) (And in my sleep.)
5. I was living with my ex for 6 months before he heard me burp. He liked it. I didn’t.
6. I kept my mother on an extremely high pedestal for the first 35 years of my life. Then one day I pushed her to the ground and made her climb back up. She did.
7. My little sister (who thinks I shouldn’t call her my “little sister” anymore because she’s 27) is my absolute favourite person in the world and the only person I would die for without hesitation.
8. I hate eating. If there was a way that I could survive without food, I’d be all over it like a fat kid on a Smartie.
9. I don’t like going to bed… er, I should say to sleep. I’ve already missed too much of my life, I don’t want to miss another minute.
10. Being thrown from a horse was the absolute best thing that has ever happened to me in my life.
11. I need to get a dog before I get a boyfriend. When I left my two ex’s, I also had to leave my dogs. Next time the dog is staying with me.
12. I declared 2005 the ‘International Year of Bev’ and changed my whole life.
13. I am embarrassed to tell you how many times I have seen Twilight. It’s a lot.
14. I miss being a work-aholic.
15. I have survived every car accident I have ever been in.
16. I see dead people. Then they close the casket and I can’t see them anymore.
17. I am obviously struggling with this now.
18. I love my car. It is the only thing I have left from the days when I had money. But the lease is up and I have to give it back on Saturday. Boo.
19. My favourite possession is a patch work quilt that my grandmother made in 1980. Now I only take it out when I am really sick because my grandmother’s hands aren’t strong enough to repair it anymore (I already wore it out twice).
20. I love music and will listen to anything anywhere anytime.
21. I like virtually every movie that I see. And if I don’t like it the first time, I will watch it again just in case my enjoyment was marred by outside influences the first time.
22. I can’t believe I thought of 21 things. Okay, 20. #17 was a cheat.
23. I can’t believe I thought of 22 things. Fuck off. This is my 25 Things.
24. I don’t regret. Anything. Ever. Any actions I take or words I say were based on the information and feelings I had at that moment. And I refuse to waste my time worrying about things I can’t change.
25. That being said, I do everything in my power to be true to myself and my beliefs, even if they go against everyone else.
26. I CANNOT believe that I am moving home!
27. I’m out of control and can’t stop at 25.
28. But I really don’t have anything left to say.
29. So I’ll just keep doing this for a while.
30. My brother is a dick.
31. That is all.
32. Good Day, sir.
32b. I said Good Day.

Good One!

This is a line in a story I am reading… it made me absolutely burst out laughing. I think I’ll have to use it when I’m trying to pick up men.

(I’d totally give the author credit but then you’d know something you don’t need to know!)

“Not that I needed to know his name to fuck him senseless, but when I came in his mouth, I wanted to know what name to call out.”

My musical journal: ‘Lump’

My musical journal: ‘Lump’ by The Presidents of the United States of America

When my sister was 15 and came to visit me in BC, my then-boyfriend nicknamed her Lump. He even had a Christmas ornament personalized with “Lump” made for her. The first time I heard this song, I almost died laughing… it’s exactly what he meant.

I’m going to have it played to her at her wedding in June. Because she’s still a Lump. (Smart girl, blonde roots, ifyouknowwhatImean.) And because embarrassing their little sisters is just what good big sisters do.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Lump sat alone
In a boggy marsh
Totally motionless
Except for her heart
Mud flowed up into Lump’s pajamas
She totally confused
All the passing piranhas
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Lump lingered last in line for brains
And the one she got
Was sort of rotten and insane
Small thing so sad
That birds could land
Is Lump fast asleep
Or rocking out with the band?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

No, pal, YOU'RE weird!

I have no idea why I decided to make a list of the ways that I don't fit in with the rest of the world. Ha. Probably because I'm weird.

Here it is:
~ I like shovelling, I like to clean, I like working - generally, I guess I find a way to like the things that I have to do... it makes life so much more bearable
~ I always thought it was kinda cool that my parents had sex (I'm not saying I want to watch, I just like knowing that old people have sex because I want to have sex when I'm old!)
~ I was pulling in a 6-figure salary when I decided to quit and "go find myself"... two years later I find myself beyond broke, homeless and never happier
~ I like practically every movie I've ever watched. And, if I don't like a movie the first time I see it, I watch it again
~ I will listen to any type of music. From my nephew's grunge band's demo to Classic Rock to Opera to Punk to Country to Top 40 to Rap to Jazz to Easy listening to Dance to Alternative to Folk to Classical to Metal... it's on my iPod
~ I hear rhythm in everything - walking up the stairs, the washing machine, rain beating on the window, etc - yet I don't play an instrument
~ I don't regret. Ever. I don't believe in it. I make my decisions based on the information at hand at that particular moment and that's the best I can do... and the best I can do is the best I can do
~ I love people - in general. Especially old people and teenagers. Every acquaintance is a study in human nature. And human nature is so amazingly entertaining.
~ I love my life and I refuse to apologize for that. Sorry.

This stuff warms my frickin' heart

I know you're not supposed to make DMs public. Kind of an honour thing. I hope he doesn't mind but this blog is kinda my diary, you know?

@MaDom To be honest, I'm normaly not a kiss-ass. But you do it for me. =)


**so sweet!**

An open letter to my beautiful boyfriend, Rob Pattinson

Hello my darling!

It's good to see you so often lately; I've missed you. I know the other women make you a little weary - they scream at you like they know you, speak to you like you care - but you know that, deep down, I really don't give a shit. Don't get me wrong, you are obviously the hottest man on the planet (that hot-nerd thing you do just fucks me up). But I don't need to know you. Actually, I don't want to know you. You exist in my fantasies and that's exactly where I want you to be.

There is something that I want you to know, though, because I see you out there with the screaming fans and adoring crowds. I want you to know that I fear for you, Rob. I fear for you.

It has happened again and again with young performers who rise to fame too quickly. They fall for the hype and forget why they are here. They develop destructive addictions - perhaps for entertainment or out of sheer boredom at first, but then they need it to cope; then to survive and then to die. They come to believe that they are the gods people try to make them out to be. They learn the hard way that they are merely human and fallible; they get in over their heads and come to need this adoration which has been bestowed on them.

You are living a fantasy life right now and I hope you are enjoying it but you need to keep your eyes open. You need to understand this fame that has exploded on you. You need to be strong in yourself to make it through intact. While these females are completely justified in their adoration of you, you need to understand what a shaky pedestal it is that they have put you on. And, like all things in life - good and bad - this, too, shall pass.

This passing will not be a reflection on you or your talent but a reflection on human nature. It is the way of the world that, as your fame shall rise, it shall also fall. It has to; it is as uncontrollable and as inevitable as the passing of time. And I think that, to some degree, you look forward to the calming of the craze so that you can get on with your career and get on with your life.

The important fact that these fans seem to miss is that this is your job. And it is a very difficult and demanding one. They believe that it is *you* coming into their living rooms and their bedrooms, they believe that they know you but all they know is their perception of you. They only know who they want you to be. And many of them don't seem to be able to grasp that. I hope you have someone in your life who really knows you, who loves you and supports you for who you are. I hope you come from a strong and supportive family. I hope you have friends who allow you to be yourself so that you can hold on to that person. I hope you always remember that this is what you do, not who you are.

Enjoy this fame, Rob. Squeeze every bit of joy and money and adoration and confidence and exposure that you can from it. I know that you have the talent that it takes for longevity and a solid acting career. And I think that you have the gumption to withstand the crap that comes along with it. If you don't, go get it - or run. Whatever you do, know that you make me want to touch myself in a way that no actor ever has. But also know that I haven't had sex in about 18 months so I'm feeling pretty slutty right now. Just, like, FYI or whatever. Tee hee.

I am sending this out into the universe with much love and best wishes for your future happiness - trust me, when you have true happiness, all the rest is just gravy.

Oh, and just one more thing, my sweetheart. Probably not the best time to scratch your ass. I'm just sayin'.

Kisses, Bef xxx

Odd? Who, me?

This might sound strange to you - and I say that because I got "man, you is fucked up" looks every time I've said it in the past - but I think life would be so much better if I could survive without sleep or food. I'll take an i.v. over a meal any day. I fucking *hate* food. Why? Just look what it's done to my poor body! And it kills me to go to bed... I'm unattached, no kids and I don't have a job and there's *still* not enough time in the day to do all the things I want to do. The irony of this statement? I've been fat and lazy since the womb. The irony of that statement? If I had better sleeping patterns and eating habits, I wouldn't be so fat and lazy, now would I? Oh, well. Whatchagonnado? ;-)

Procrastination

TOP 10 REASONS TO STOP PROCRASTINATING:

1.