What's different?

You know what's different? About me. How I've changed but also how I'm different from everyone else.

I'm living backward. I have a plan for where I want to be in 50 years - and a few key stages along the way, of course. And I'm living my life as if I have been there and I'm looking back.

Doesn't that sound weird?

But, consider this... obviously I haven't been there but the things I do, I do on purpose. Because I'm preparing for that day. The day that I'm 88 years old and I'm sitting on my door step and looking back over my life. I know how I want to feel. I know what I want to think. I know what I want to say. And I'm getting there.

I want to look back on my life and know that I did everything I ever wanted to do - within reason, obviously. Not the things that I can't control but the things that I can. I can't control when my dad dies but I can control what I do before he dies. I can control the relationship I have with him, but only my part, obviously. I can say I love you. I'm in total control of that. That is my choice; say it or not say it, I am making a choice at that moment. Whether or not he says I love you back? Not my choice. Not my decision. Not under my control. But you know what is under my control? My hope for the future. Knowing it will be hard having a life without him so I appreciate having a life with him.

Self control. But there's things you can control and there's things that you can't control, Debra says. Exactly. So control the things you can, and recognize that you can't control the rest. That's all. Let it go. Refocus. Or give in to it and let yourself worry about it for a bit.

But you have to be allowed to worry. You can't be with someone who is constantly saying that your feelings aren't valid.

That's what we all do. We are trying to make it better, we say you need to feel this way, you need to feel that way. You're wrong. Your feelings aren't valid. Well, they are. Have them. Just. Have them. Debra? Just have them. But, more importantly? Andrew? Andrew. Let her have them. Just let her get it out without thinking that you need to fix it or help her or make it better. You will make it better by allowing her to voice her concerns.