I can have my cake and tweet it, too

After the terrible day I had last week, I decided it was time to turn off the Twitter. I cancelled my @Befralee account on kind of a whim moments before I went away for the weekend. I said I was sick of all the drama but it was the drama it was causing in my head more so than the drama of the in-fighting between a few tweerdos (although that was getting pretty annoying, too).

Truth is, I had my head in the stars. And I didn't want it to be about that. I loved favstar because it was  feedback. It was knowing that someone out there was laughing at my stupid ass shit. But I couldn't stop looking at the total. I wrote that post about my problems with Twitter but didn't link it to my Twitter account right away. Why? Because that evening, someone picked something I said as 'tweet of the day' and I got a shit load of new stars and followers. And my numbers went up and up. And I liked it.

But I stopped feeling like it was "me". I started writing my tweets to get stars, it became about the numbers. And I was complaining so much that I started to feel like a total bitch. And I was stuck in front of this fucking computer 24/7. And the harder I tried, the fewer stars I got. So I tried even harder. And the fun died.

So I released myself and I quit. I walked away. It seems almost silly but yesterday I started @Beviekins and all is okay in the world. Because I'm myself again. Because I can look at favstar to get the feedback but I won't see the totals because I don't follow them. Because I don't care about the numbers anymore. Because I will write my tweets based on what I want to say again, not based on what I think people want to hear. Because I am free and doing other things away from the computer. Because now I can have my cake - and tweet it, too!