Stoned me

I don't like getting stoned any more. I checked again. Just to make sure.

But being stoned is exactly why I don't like being stoned anymore.

* Wow! Way to argue a point.

Okay, I really enjoyed getting stoned. My boyfriend after high school got stoned all the time but I would have no part of it. I mean, to each his own, but I was pretty high and mighty miss do right back then.

So the day I went for a drive with him and his buddies - and he was smoking a joint while he was driving - I almost killed him. I knew they really had nowhere to go and that's why they drove so I told him that I would drive and they could get as stoned as they want. Win. Win.

I only tried it once with him. We were parked in his driveway - directly in front of his living room window, where his parents sat watching TV. And, if they were anything like my parents, also watching us.

Then we went inside and sat with them. Looking back, I'm sure he just liked to play with me to see what I'd do. (I do like to entertain people by letting them know what a loser I am.) But at the time? Holy shit. Par.A.Noia. Dude.

And then you start giggling. It's fun. Too fun. I didn't like it at all.

I mostly half smoked it every time I was in a puff,puff,pass situation after that. I was just like Bill Clinton and I didn't inhale. Except I really didn't.

It wasn't until I dated Ian in 2001 that I began smoking it periodically. When Ian and I got back together in 2006, I began smoking it daily. And didn't stop for more than three years. It was good. It helped because...

*Jesus Christ, woman. Long winded much? You didn't even fucking answer the question, you butt head! You crack me up!

Oh. What was the question?

* Well, it wasn't a question but that's not important right now. Being stoned is why you don't like being stoned.

I think I kind of just answered it. I think too much. It's insane. It's irritating. My brother HATED me when I was stoned. Then again, my sister hated me when I wasn't. *giggle*

When I'm not stoned, I just live. Yes, I still question myself sometimes. Maybe even a lot compared to people like Stacey. But I like that.

When I am stoned? Just shut the fuck up. Or, as my daddy used to say, "You got enough lip for another row of teeth."

Not meant in a mean way. Just a fact. Just shut up and go do something. Seriously.

* Yeah, I'm pretty hungry. A snack would be nice.