Serious tweet

I love that. "Serious tweet". I can just imagine some of the shit being shot on that little hashtag. Anyway!

With the birth of a new decade, the most interesting/scary/funny question has been asked. Over and over. And over. Where were you 10 years ago?

And I hear: What did you learn? What did you not have then that you cherish now? Don't think of what you've lost but of what you've gained.

10 years ago? I was still living with Karl. I was 28, he was 42. I was so immature. And he was such a dick.

We got Screecher on Boxing Day, a little border collie we found when we were shopping the Boxing Day sales. He wasn't sick yet. He started having seizures at 6 months and died just after a year. That dog pushed me to my limit. I loved him and I did more for him than I ever thought I could or would do for anything or anybody.

That was a big changing time for me. And all of that stuff with Screech taught me who Karl really was. In the early days it made me love and respect Karl more; in the later days it made me hate him. I learned that he would never "be there" for me in my hours of need, he couldn't go the distance for me and I couldn't for him. I could be nice or I could be a bitch, I could be fat or thin, smoke or not smoke and it would not matter. I guess I didn't see it that way then but that's the value of hindsight, isn't it?

What have I gained from that lesson? That I am strong enough. That I can do it. That I don't need to be afraid. That I don't need to be someone else. That I can do anything I want to do. That I can make myself do anything. That just because I can doesn't mean I have to. That it's okay to be me. That I'm okay.  And that someday someone will be there for me... I just needed to learn to let him. It turned out to be a 10 year lesson, apparently. No one expected that... least of all me!

And here I am... entering this new decade as someone else. Actually, no... I don't think I've ever been more me.