Zack Ford - My reply

First of all, please allow me to apologize. My comment was not intended to “bully” you and I certainly did not mean to hurt your feelings. I am so not anywhere near homophobic… actually that’s kind of why I wrote what I did. It had absolutely nothing to do with some actor who’s show I don’t even watch.

I know it’s really not any of my business what you choose to write about yourself but the things you say do affect others, just as what I wrote affected you. What I was trying to communicate was that, in this day and age, do you really need to highlight GAY all over your stuff as if you were leading a crusade? Isn’t that a bit like me still fighting for the right to vote? Or like a black man fighting for the right to sit at the front of the bus?

Perhaps being gay defines who you are as a person? Perhaps you feel you would be less interesting or enlightened if everyone didn’t know which gender you are attracted to? Do you like me any more or less because you don’t know which gender I prefer? If you knew I was gay and you reread what I said, would you take it differently?

My nephew is currently struggling to come to terms with his sexuality. He’s from a small town where “different” is not acceptable and where being gay is definitely different. At the already difficult age of 17, the only thing in his world that is important right now is trying to fit in, to be normal. The message I keep trying to beat into his head is that he is normal – he’s a good person, he is smart and funny, he is handsome and he deserves to be happy – it doesn’t matter who he is attracted to. But you are practically screaming that it does matter.

Let’s step into his shoes for a moment and see what kind of message you are sending to him, and to others in the same situation:

If DIFFERENT = WRONG
And GAY = DIFFERENT
Then GAY = WRONG
And HE = WRONG

By proclaiming in your bio that the very first thing we should know about you is the fact that you are gay, you are inferring that being gay is different. And the message you are sending to my nephew, and to others in the same situation, is that he can’t be normal if he is gay. How is that message helping anyone?

Can you understand that what you are saying is hitting deeper than if some ignorant asshole on the street called him a fag? That guy would be just some ignorant asshole, but you are actually like him so you must know what you are talking about. And you are telling him that gay is different, and he is telling himself that gay is wrong. So I am telling you that just makes me mad.

And, if I was being a bully to you, what were you being to Rainn Wilson? I stop following lots of people when I don’t like what they are saying but I don’t feel the need to impress my twitter-mates by showing them how I can call out a famous guy to his face (er, his @ replies). And that “Soul Pancake spirituality vibe” that you were trying to mock is very important to a lot of people – just as your sexuality is obviously very important to you.

You might be a self-professed “snarky bloke” but you are also a hypocrite. And when I see hypocrisy, I point it out. I try very, very hard to practise what I preach, sir… do you?