Zack Ford - My reply to Zack's rebuttal

Hi Zack:

I want you to know that I think of you, and of this conversation of ours, often. While I am not proud of the comments that started it, I am glad that it started. Twitter in general – and communicating with you in particular – has opened my eyes to a world that I innocently thought we had evolved past.

Contrary to Will’s comments and perception of my stance on this subject, I have never, ever, by any stretch of the imagination, inferred that it is “bad to even say the word gay”. My position was the absolute opposite of that. I didn’t think that anyone really thought that there was anything wrong with being gay/lesbian/bisexual/transgendered anymore.

I never understood how people could impugn or attack someone based on who they were attracted to. I never understood how anyone could be so closed minded as to think that being gay or straight had any bearing on a person’s worth as a human being. It just didn’t make logical sense to me so, I guess somewhere along the way, I stopped seeing that those things still happen. Of course I knew there was small minded people making ignorant comments and smart-asses who think their jokes are funny but I did not see the depth of the prejudice and inequality that the LGBT community experiences until communicating with you opened my eyes. And I thank you for that.

Something I don’t think I ever told you is that my nephew has not officially come out to me or anyone else in our family yet. Also, you don’t know that my nephew lives almost 5,000 miles away from me. I fly him over here for a couple of weeks each summer and spend the whole time trying to erase all of the crap that is fed to him for the other 50 weeks of the year. I think I was beating up on you when I really wanted to beat up on my sister and her fiancée and everyone else who has made him feel that he is anything less than the amazingly wonderful young man that he is. And for that, I truly do apologize to you and to anyone else whom I inadvertently offended.

On a happier note, I had a short visit with my nephew since you and I were first introduced. I was overjoyed by his increased level of confidence and, although I have always encouraged him to evolve at his own pace, we did have what I consider a breakthrough – he finally allowed me to meet his boyfriend. So the closet door is open now… I trust that he will come out when he is ready. (I have always thought that the actual “coming out” is something that should come from him – do you agree?)

We might be getting closer to LGBT equality but I see now that progress is slow and still needs to be championed to a large degree. I see now that you are leading a crusade and that I was wrong to believe that this is a battle which had already been won. I wish you all the best, Zack – and know that I am out here fighting with you.