"Two Roads Diverged in a Yellow Wood, and I..." went left

My computer broke/died on Wednesday. I have been oddly enjoying myself ever since so I didn't contact anyone to repair it yet. This is part of the weirdness that is me now, this go-with-the-flow-ness. Personally, I love it but it tends to frustrate everyone else.

This was the time for me to solidify my plans further. But I am not ready yet. Time is steadily passing but I have not totally made up my mind yet. And, as I always say, if the answer isn't yes, it has to be no. Perhaps it would be better to say that I will live with "maybe" until it becomes yes or no. But I do not act on it until then. The maybe right now is the eternal question of stuff or money. Obviously there are some things that I will take no matter what. My "things". My piano, TV, books, movies, artwork, knick-knacks. What I'm unsure about is taking the big stuff knowing how much extra it will cost. At this point I have $25-30,000 credit but that's it. After that is gone, I will not only have nothing left, I will also own nothing and owe $60,000+. As we all know, money is not a huge priority to me and this venture of self discovery can not be monetized. However, there is also the aversion to throwing away money unneccessarily.

So, let's look at it this way. In a perfect world where money was no object, what would I do? Would I bring this sofa, which I hate? Would I - okay, wait. That's not going to help. If money were absolutely no object I would give it all to charity, hop on a plane and get everything new on the other side. Mmm. Yeah. But money is an object, although it is not everything. So let's think this through and put the money aspect on the back burner.

I could pack up everything I own and have it shipped - including the sofa bed and the bed - which I also basically hate. I could pack up all of the things, pay someone $3-4,000 to take it to Ontario for it to sit in storage for a few months at least. Then I would hop in my car and drive there myself with the things that I would need during that time. Keep in mind that the car is a lease which costs $675/mo, which I will need to get serviced and I will need extra insurance and special permission.

On the other hand, I could turn the car in, rent a U-Haul for about $2,000 and take only the things I really want to keep. However, that would entail driving a vehicle that I don't know over the Rocky Mountains by myself. And I would have to buy another vehicle when I get there - a shit box because, with no job, no one will give me a loan. I would also have to get a new bed and couch (and have no spare or sofa bed) when I get my new pad.

Putting aside the money issue, the answer is obvious to me. I love my car, it would be so much nicer and more comfortable to drive that than some crappy rented truck which could cause massive amounts of problems. And, with the exception of a few things, I like my stuff. Getting it shipped and stored until I need it would be a dream.

So, it seems like the decision has been made, doesn't it? Perhaps I am just wasting time. Is that so wrong? Perhaps I am absolutely dreading the thought of packing all this stuff up again. And I have until the end of the month. There is not great reason to leave on the 20th. I think I will sit back and continue to plan, continue to visualize, continue to read and sing and do puzzles to my heart's content. And remember that it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks. In this situation, the only opinion that matters is mine. And if I'm making a bad call, an error in judgement, I'm totally okay with that. Because every wrong step I take is still a step in the right direction. It's the way I live. And, being this happy, I gotta be doing something right.